Evan Wolfson: 'Ending exclusion from marriage helps families while hurting no one'

ONLY ON THE BLOG: Answering today’s five OFF-SET questions is Evan Wolfson, President of Freedom to Marry.

Citing his national leadership on marriage and his appearance before the U.S. Supreme Court, the National Law Journal named Wolfson one of "the 100 most influential lawyers in America," in addition to being named one of Time magazine's list of "the 100 most influential people in the world." Wolfson is author of  "Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry."

On Tuesday, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo submitted a bill to bring marriage equality to New York State. What does the The Marriage Equality Act permit to happen?

If passed by the Republican-controlled Senate and Democrat-controlled Assembly and signed into law by the Governor, the marriage bill will secure for committed same-sex couples the freedom to marry - with the same rules, same responsibilities, and same respect. 

It will more than double the number of Americans living in a state where gay couples can marry - from 16 million to 35 million.  And it will permit more families to strengthen their love and commitment and ability to care for one another, while taking nothing away from anyone else.

How is marriage, as it would be defined by this law, different from a civil union?

One of the main protections that comes with marriage is, well, being married.  It's a statement of love and commitment so important that most people wear its symbol on their hand.  Everyone knows who you are in relation to the primary person you're building a life with. 

And marriage is a system - it brings clarity, security, and tangible and intangible protections as couples move from state to state, interact with employers or businesses, or deal with the federal government. 

Civil union is not a system.  It is a legal mechanism that has been created in some states as a step toward marriage, but short of marriage. One way to think about it is to ask the question: If civil union is the same as marriage, why do we need two lines at the clerk's office?

A bill legalizing same-sex marriage has been rejected before by state legislators, who may be voting on this bill very soon. Is there enough support to pass this bill?

It's never done til it's done, and Freedom to Marry is hard at work, asking people to call legislators, talk about their families and love and commitment, and join in our campaign to make sure New York does the right thing (as have four of New York State's neighbors: Canada, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Connecticut). 

What's been exciting in New York is to see this campaign joined by Republicans as well as Democrats, businesses as well as labor unions, pro athletes as well as clergy - all speaking out in support of the freedom to marry in New York and nationwide, and adding their voices and money in bipartisan appeals to legislators on both side of the aisle.  

Twenty-nine of 30 Democrats in the Senate have come out in support of the freedom to marry (including three who voted against it in 2009), and, as of Wednesday morning, two Republican Senators have declared they will vote for the marriage bill.  We are hopeful there will be more, and very hopeful this important legislation will pass.  After all, 58% of New Yorkers want to see the state do the right thing.

In total, five states—Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Connecticut and Iowa—along with the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages. Another four states allow civil unions. How many same-sex couples—either in marriages or civil unions—are there now in the United States? Generally, are those couples finding they now have the same rights and protections as male/female couples?

It's hard to get an exact count of the same-sex couples who have married, but based on Census data, it's over 80,000 at least... not counting the couples who have married in the 11 other countries on 4 continents where gay people now share in the freedom to marry. 

These married couples enjoy the love and support of their family and communities, a meaningful part of the bundle of legal and economic protections and responsibilities that come with marriage... but are still denied the more than 1138 federal-law protections of marriage, such as Social Security, access to health coverage, immigration rights, and the ability to pool resources as a family without unfair tax treatment. 

This is because of federal marriage discrimination imposed by the so-called "Defense of Marriage Act" (DOMA) passed in 1996.  The Respect for Marriage Act was recently introduced in Congress to repeal this federal discrimination, and several court cases are pending challenging the burdensome law. 

Until that federal marriage discrimination is overturned, even married gay couples still endure a "gay exception" to the normal way families are treated in the United States, making overturning DOMA one of Freedom to Marry's top priorities.

The United States is still a very conservative country. On Monday night at the New Hampshire debate, for example, the seven Republican candidates for President hardly support gays and lesbians openly serving in the armed forces. Do you see a time when same-sex marriage is legal throughout the U.S?

Yes.  Six recent polls have shown that a majority of Americans support the freedom to marry, and those who oppose fairness and equality for gay couples and their loved ones are now in the minority. 

More than 42% of Americans now live in a state with at least some measure of respect and protection for committed gay couples - marriage or some other legal acknowledgement - up from virtually zero just a decade ago. As more and more Americans from all political parties, of all ages, talk about why marriage matters and how ending exclusion from marriage helps families while hurting no one, momentum for closing this chapter of discrimination increases, just as it has in previous struggles in our history. 

And with more states like New York giving people the chance to see with their own eyes that allowing gay people to share in marriage takes nothing away from anyone else, we can make the case, do the work, and get our country where it needs to be... so we can then tackle together the real problems we all face in these tough times.

CLICK HERE to the see the video featuring Richard and John.

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Editor's Note: In his weekly online column, New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan has some strong words about the proposed legalization of gay marriage in the state. Here's an excerpt:

Our country’s founding principles speak of rights given by God, not invented by government, and certain noble values – life, home, family, marriage, children, faith – that are protected, not re-defined, by a state presuming omnipotence.

Our beliefs should not be viewed as discrimination against homosexual people. The Church affirms the basic human rights of gay men and women, and the state has rightly changed many laws to offer these men and women hospital visitation rights, bereavement leave, death benefits, insurance benefits, and the like. This is not about denying rights. It is about upholding a truth about the human condition. Marriage is not simply a mechanism for delivering benefits: It is the union of a man and a woman in a loving, permanent, life-giving union to pro-create children. Please don’t vote to change that. If you do, you are claiming the power to change what is not into what is, simply because you say so. This is false, it is wrong, and it defies logic and common sense.